In an era where women are told to act like a lady but think like a man, and men are taught that to show emotion is not characteristic of the Alpha Male, it’s no wonder relationships are struggling. Factor that into specific gender roles being what was instilled in a lot of households coming up, that the stereotypes don’t allow people to just be who they are. Gender roles can be defined as the behaviors, values, and attitudes that a society considers appropriate for both male and female. Traditionally, men and women had completely opposing roles, men were seen as the provider for the family and women were seen as the caretakers of both the home and the family. However, we now have women who are bringing home the bacon AND frying it up in a pan! And there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that.
In the days of old, the men went to work and made sure that the household was financially taken care of, while the women stayed home and raised babies while caring for said household. This way of life still works for some. While there are women who’ve proclaimed their independence and have passions that they want to pursue, and at the same time also add to the fund’s which comes into the household. This is very common among millennials. However, with this independence for some women, sometimes comes a cockiness which allows no room for being soft or submissive with a man. So much so, that a lot of men are put off by a woman who comes across as too independent.
Let’s go back to these societal stereotypes before getting into that. Women should be dependent, passive, overly emotional, desiring of security, home oriented, and nurturing. Just to name a few. While men are to be aggressive, dominant, worldly, not easily bruised emotionally, blunt, and non nurturing. You see here, this is an outline of how we “should be” versus who we actually are. As a woman if you have a fire that burns so deep inside of you to be a creative yet you have to keep that light concealed, you’re dying inside a little each day by stifling it. And don’t get me started on a man and not being able to express that something is bothering him because it makes him look soft. These are just a couple of examples as to things that kill a relationship slowly but surely by paying attention to these gender roles.
The point that I am making here is that gender-conformity does not allow room to be your authentic self. Now a days men claim that they love an independent woman, yet some lack the security to handle one because they are still programmed by gender roles. I also believe that the “I’m so independent that I don’t need a man for shit” types have not only scared off a certain caliber of man, but also makes men associate independence with verbal disrespect as well as a lack of being able to still have that femininity that they desire. Unbeknownst to them, a REAL woman is very capable of achieving her goals, being successful and adding to the bank account, maintaining the upkeep of the house, tending to his emotional needs, as well as catering to her man in the bedroom. All while still allowing him to be the man and never losing site of who she is as a woman. A man who is accepting of this woman is the most secure Alpha male period. That my friends is what I consider a POWER COUPLE.
You see, it should only matter to the two people in the relationship as to how their household is run. What works behind my closed doors may not work where you lay your head. I do feel like a woman that makes her own money should be able to contribute to the household in some manner. What amount and how it’s allocated depends entirely on what agreement works best for the couple. He pays the rent or mortgage, and she pays the utilities and buys the groceries. Perhaps he even pays for everything, but when it comes time to take a vacation her savings covers that, and she also takes care of the basic needs of the house such as toiletries, food, etc. Again, there are many ways to break it down, but the ONLY way that ensures a healthy relationship is the way that works best for you all. Not how society has painted the picture.
My idea of a POWER COUPLE is one in which can go about every day life facing the temptations of the world and still respect their union. While both love, honor, and take care of one another. That is powerful. Not how much money they collectively bring in, although it doesn’t hurt. Being able to achieve something together, especially things that money can’t buy, is the envy of every lonely rich person or loveless couple who has allowed gender roles and stereotypes to dictate their relationships or lack there of. Take more time to think of the type of person you want to be and work on developing that as opposed to trying to fit the mold that looks good to society but feels horribly on the inside. Do more of that, and I promise that you will be in a much happier space and living your best life! Happy holidays luvbugs.