The main course

     On a chilly fall Friday night, what is nicer than cuddling up on the sofa with your man scrolling through Netflix? Sounds like the perfect night on paper right? But the gag is, you’re single, so it’s not happening. That can definitely be a bummer. Especially during the time of year where the nights get colder and being on the social scene to forget that you go home to an empty bed doesn’t seem as invigorating. It doesn’t matter how strong and independent a woman may be, she still wants to be able to have that person who is her vulnerable place. Even when she herself doesn’t realize it because of conditioning. The sad reality is that her thought process has led her to believe that all of the good ones are probably spoken for. 

      The dating game is a tough one for a single woman. Especially coming from demographic areas such as Philadelphia, D.C., or Atlanta, where the single women to men ratio is staggering. Just to name a few. That will absolutely lessen your chances of finding a quality man who is unattached. This is where a woman’s moral compass is tested. Every man in a relationship or marriage is not true to their oath, and don’t mind adding a side dish to their plate. I mean what’s the harm if he can afford it right? Well you see, that all depends on who’s eyes we’re viewing the situation from. Whether or not you believe in karma. And if you are opposed to potentially having your ass whipped for violating some unknown woman’s household. 

        Now don’t think that I don’t want to see you ladies be great, just not at the expense of another woman. Or yourself for that matter. Haven’t you all been listening? If I haven’t taught you anything it should be that we are absolutely NOT settling, and we’re living our best lives. There’s no way possible that you see your best life as being half-loved on a part time basis. Not to mention, there’s no way to catch the blessings that are for you if your hands are full of junk. Oh wait, you mistook the gifts and hush money as what was for you? My dear you have no idea of your true value. 
      
        We have to learn to be alright with spending time alone. Getting acquainted with self, and knowing exactly what it is that we’re in search of. I am more than certain that temporary fulfillment isn’t it. Even when it comes down to the sexual aspect of it all. I touched on self help just last week. Get into it! As I stated previously, it is much better to be alone than in bad company. God didn’t intend for you to entertain another woman’s man. And fellas, if it isn’t a part of your religion, he didn’t intend for you to step out on yours. 

      I’ve heard it said that “What she doesn’t know won’t hurt her.” Now here comes my controversial two cents to play devils advocate. We can keep this very simple by thinking about the shoe being on the other foot. What if YOUR man carved out Friday’s as a standing date night. Maneuvered an early Thanksgiving dinner. Set aside a Christmas Eve gift exchange. All for his side piece. Don’t clutch your pearls now that you are rationalizing what it looks like to that woman. The bottom line is you will forever be on borrowed time, whether or not he fills some of your lonely evenings which equates to better than nothing for you or not. Adapt a you deserve better mindset and settle for all or nothing.

        The fact is, and will always remain that we were not placed here to live life alone. However, if you are patient in your pursuit of happiness, what is for you will manifest itself. You never have to reduce yourself to wrecking someone’s home to steal a few moments of what you think is happiness. When you crawl back into that empty bed, the reality will still be that after he’s picked over his side dish, he has an entree at home waiting for him. Don’t be that girl. Respect yourself enough to do better. Carry yourself as a Queen, you will eventually attract your King. That is a major key in living your best lives! 

 


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