Time waits for no one. This is a saying that I am certain that we have all heard at some point in time or another. However, this quote couldn’t hold truer than it does now as we are more than two weeks in on quarantine due to the Coronavirus pandemic. Time is something that we always feel like is on our side as we pass things off to “do tomorrow.” But what if tomorrow never comes. Or if we are on lock down when tomorrow comes, unable to carry out the plans in which we made on yesterday? This my friends, is how life works. Quarantine or not. Sometimes it just takes a rude awakening to remind us how finite that life and time really are.
Aside from filling our days with activities to pass the time so not to be bored, hopefully a lot of self-reflection is currently taking place in us all. I was making a random post a few days back and had one of my ah-ha moments. I see so many people making reference to being stuck at home alone without a “quarantine bae.” My last blog talked about things to do while on quarantine. This week, will be more of an unpopular opinion I’m sure, as I hold some folks accountable for their current reality.
meditation or serious thought about one's character, actions, and motives.
Being single is not always a bad thing. As we all need a timeframe where we are content with just being in our own company. However, we are sometimes to blame for our own circumstances. Come on now, I talk about these things often. Remember if we stay ready, we don’t have to get ready. The same effort and energy we put into having a hot girl summer, and the fellas put into having their pick of the litter, should be the same energy that we put into securing our life partner. When it’s time. Now, here we are in a situation that makes us come face-to-face with the reality that we are able to escape with day-to-day distractions. There’s something about spending 24 hours a day seven days a week alone with nothing but self reflection time.
The thing about life, is that no matter what we are going through there has to be accountability. We have to hold ourselves accountable for a lot of our own shortcomings. Yes sometimes we may find ourselves single because we were in a relationship that was not equally yoked or because we just have not found that person. Then, sometimes we are single because of how we self sabotage or simply due to lack luster presentation. Whoever said that first impressions or presentation didn’t matter lied.
Just as I was speaking about guys sliding in DMs with idle chatter in a post that I made, that is the type of presentation that will make a woman feel that you are simply there just to waste her time. And who has time to waste? If you see a woman who has everything going for herself and you are not ready to add to that in a positive way, then allow that woman to continue to be great without you hindering her. Also, as a woman if you don’t see yourself being ready to be a man’s back bone, then continue to work on you before disrupting his single space.
Now let me clarify what it is that I mean by adding to what a woman has going on, or being a man’s back bone. Of course as an adult you should be self-sufficient, however when you come together as one you should be able to complement each other in a way that whatever the other one lacks you’re right over their shoulder to pick up the pieces, need be. If you meet a woman who runs a business, as a man your first thoughts should be how can I support her business? Even if it is not monetarily, support comes in many shapes, forms and fashions. As a woman if the man that you’re dating is going through something, even if just mentally, you should be able to pour into him and remind him to stay aligned with the king within him. To put it into layman’s terms...Are you trying to build or bullshit? If your intentions are the latter of the two, then understand you being without a quarantine Bae aka a life partner is all your work.
As much as an inconvenience as this self quarantine is, think of how much of an inconvenience it would be to come out of this situation without making any changes. Change for the better that is. During this time of self reflection, think of all the things that you have put off that you now have time to do. Think of the things that you would like to have in your life which you lack. And most importantly think of how you can make all of these things come to fruition.To not make any changes after all of this and look at life from a different perspective would be doing yourself a disservice. Remember not only should you be utilizing all of your own time wisely, make sure that you are also not wasting anyone else’s. Yes, being stuck at home alone may not be your ideal way to spend quarantine. But would you rather be in the company of someone who doesn’t value you, just to have someone there? Let’s utilize this time to dig deep. Make a plan, and work the plan. That is in every aspect of your life. Now let’s continue to live our best lives. Quarantine or not. My prayers for safety are with you all during this time.