Phone sex

       Rolling over every morning to kiss the one who you love is an undervalued privilege by many. Not that it isn’t appreciated more so than it being taken for granted. However, with all of this cuffing season talk, it makes me think of those who have a spouse or love interest who they may not see daily or even weekly due to distance. It is very common for marriages, relationships, and even situationships to be separated by distance at some point and time. Whether it be due to a work assignment or geographical location, there is an entirely different level of compromise that needs to be in place to keep these relationships thriving. Although with two individuals committed to making it work it is not as difficult as it may seem.

      The first thing that the average human mind would more than likely factor in when thinking long distance is sex, or the lack there of. And as important of an element as it is, living in such modern times it’s an easy fix. Especially if you’ve read my blog on “Self love.” Sending spicy photos is a way to keep the intimate spark lit. It gives your person a visual for when they lay alone at night. If you’re a person who needs more than a photo, I think that the Iphones FaceTime feature is one of the best inventions yet. Nothing like being able to see that face in real time that your heart beats for. If you’re feeling extra froggy, a little phone or FaceTime sex ain’t ever hurt nobody! Whatever works best for you and your partner, utilize those resources.

        It’s the emotional factors that take more nurturing during these times apart. And being considerate of how your mate feels or expresses their emotions is pertinent in not adding to that distance. You should absolutely keep the lines of communication open as often or as little as works for you two. However, it is the emotional calls that require tending to the most. Of course you can’t physically be together daily and even may miss some milestones together. The emotional call is just an unconscious attempt to find out Will you be there for me. Be intentional about showing interest in the things your mate has going on that you can’t physically show up for. And absolutely make time to speak with them as opposed to them feeling they are not a priority.

      Not being sure where you stand with someone, especially the one you see a future with is an uncomfortable feeling. Reassurance is needed in all relationships, and ten times more when speaking on ones that are separated my miles. Don’t let your relationship succumb to jealousy and doubt when it is you that can put those insecurities to bed. Any person who says they have never felt a tinge of jealousy when it came to their mate was absolutely not operating from a place of true love. It is a natural reaction to feel uneasy when thinking of another being in the space that should be yours. Be sure to remind your person why you love them and what you love about the two of you as a unit. A little positive reinforcement can go a long way.

        Secure attachments should be able to grow and mature individually while finding ways to stay connected and push the other toward being their best self. A relationship that you feel safe in will allow you to exhibit personal growth and change without stunting the growth of the union. Support your partner as they grow, even from a distance. Be proud and show it. That growth in the long run will benefit you both when that gap is bridged. 

      Keep in mind that the goal is to maintain that feeling of being connected be it near or far. In that wake, do the things while apart that you’d do together. Shared experiences increases the cohesion of your relationship. What I mean is have long distance dates. As corny as it may sound to some, I’m here for all the quirkiness. Share a book together and talk about it after or stream the same movie at the same time while sharing a similar meal. It will aid in keeping that connection that you don’t want to lose sight of. Although being separated from the person who you are in love with seems anything but, focus on the positives while you’re apart.    

       Think about the people who you surround yourself with or even your choice in mates. These days our end game isn’t pushing paper. We’re entrepreneurs, running businesses or involved in business across the world that showcases our God given talents. With that thought in mind, the reason behind the distance in your relationship isn’t like you’re sitting waiting on someone to complete a bid in jail,(I mean if that’s your thing) but quite the opposite. Respect the person who is getting to it and the reasons why you all can’t do everything as a couple. Never minimize their efforts and stay supportive even on days you miss them most. These are the days where each of you have to really do your part to remember the other.

       The bottom line here is don’t allow geographical location to deter you from having a great relationship. You can’t say that you want something, yet not be committed to making sure it stays solid when it’s not within arms reach. And remember, all of the work that you put in while they’re away should add to the build up for when you see each other. Send those pics, write a racy text, have that phone sex, talk all that shit. The day that you are to reunite, keep that same energy! Ladies, y’all should have known that I was coming for you eventually. I hold you all to a certain standard. If your man is flying into town, be waiting curbside at the airport after you’ve already found the ducked off spot to pull over for that quickie. If you’re the one flying in, after exchanging pleasantries and once in the vehicle, unzip those pants. He already knows what time it is. The point I’m making is you can tell someone that you miss them, or you can show them. I beseech you to do the latter. No one wants to be with someone who doesn’t demonstrate the love they proclaim to have for them. Besides, I miss you Sex ranks pretty high up there with the best ever. My people, I’m just the messenger, but don’t let a few miles deter you from happiness and living your best life! 

 

 

 


1 comment

  • Long distance relationships will either sustain the relationship via the “I miss you factor” or break it if the missing you isn’t demonstrated in one way or another. I agree with you, you have to show each other, especially men who I have always believed to be more insecure than woman and whose egos need to be stroked as if watering a flower. Men constantly need to know that they are the object of your desires and love a bit of a jealous moment from us. Most importantly they are hunters so used that distance to your advantage… as you stated be alluring; share those secy photos, texts, and yes indeed the phone sex.

    Long distance relationships can feel a bit lonely at times however, as you stated remember the goal support your significant other purpose for their distance from you. You also must show them that you are living your best life to increase the greatness of the union you share. I find that having your own goals and mission helps to ease the pain of missing them and ladies you are the prey in this hunt so keep it connected but play up that distance enough that seeks you, he wonders about you, and most importantly that he misses you equally as much just maintain that balance that yes keeps in the priority by still making you a priority. Self-love is the best love and it teaches you to know how you need to be love as well as others.

    Great blog as always beautiful sunshine.

    Love, peace and amazing blessings

    Poetess Jacqueline E.

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