Minute Man

      How long does a good sex session last? This is a question that I get often. Popular opinion is the longer the better right? That is until you actually factor in all the variables and put it into true perspective. How often are we having penetrative sex for the duration of an hour straight? Now cue the sound of crickets chirping. 

        A sexual encounter’s length and it’s effectiveness will vary on a case to case basis. But when looking at it on paper, as a study according to sex therapists the timing of an encounter should be covered under four categories. Too short, adequate, too long, and desirable. I’m sure we all remember the song One Minute Man by Missy Elliott.  Break me off, show me what you got, cause I don’t want no one minute man. Needless to say, 1 minute absolutely falls under the too short category. Unless your schlong has been ordained and you can get it done that quickly! I believe this one can be agreed upon with both men and women. 

      Moving into the other categories will come as a matter of preference, although they are each given a range of time. Adequate sex being three to seven minutes, too long being ten to thirty minutes, and desirable sex lasting between seven to thirteen minutes. These facts may stun some of you, but fellas, it also gets you off the hook trying to live up to being up in it for an hour or more. As enchanting as the idea seems, especially when the last thing you sometimes want him to do is pull out, however, if he can last inside you for an hour straight, ladies.....that could be a problem on your part. Shade intended. 

      Now back to the question at hand. What do I deem to be a good amount of time for the perfect sexual encounter? I personally feel that unless it’s a quickie that we are sneaking in, all sexual intercourse should be preceded by foreplay. Physical touch being one of my love languages, nothing ignites me more than him exploring my body with hands and mouth to the point that I’m laying on baited breath waiting for him to enter. Done right fellas, she will already have or be on the brink of an orgasm, which means the penetration will be the thing to “finish her!” Ladies, this doesn’t make you exempt and mean you can lay there. Sex is a team sport which means you too should reciprocate with the foreplay. Men too love to be touched. 

      There are a couple of drawbacks with foreplay when factoring in oral sex. If your fellatio game is impeccable ladies, and you want him to be able to make it inside of you, know how to hold back so that his climax doesn’t end up in your mouth. Fellas, for you all it’s not a thing. We don’t run out of gas after an orgasm, although our appendages may be a little weak, the hips still work, and should be able to meet you thrust for thrust in making sure you too climax. 

      I know, I know. I still haven’t given you a direct answer as to HOW LONG. As difficult of a question as that is for me, if I had to choose, it would be desirable sex at seven to thirteen minutes of intercourse time post foreplay. Be mindful that there will be times even that as a woman, we may not have necessarily reached an orgasm, but still enjoyed the sex. In that instance hopefully, he isn’t a one and done kind of guy or that he wakes you up to sausage in bed and finishes the job in the morning. 

     Hopefully this puts some of your curiosities to rest as well as let’s some of you off of the hook. Now for the minute men out there, get your weight up! In every other instance, what goes on in your bedroom probably won’t be what goes on in mine, but the goal is to be satisfied. Never be a selfish lover, and always remember to make sure that you don’t lose sight of their satisfaction while focusing on your climax. There  happens to be some of us out here that get off on getting our partner off, but you as the partner still has work to do. Now, go forth and live your best lives and have a great week of sex and love. 


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