Millennial Dating

    In an era where women would rather claim independence than to be docile to a deserving man. Where men have deviated from asking women out on a formal date as opposed to offering “let’s chill.” A time when a social media post to express your thoughts supersedes verbal communication, it’s not surprising why so many are crying the single blues. Although the objective of a happy life is never to settle, life was also not meant to spend alone or unhappy. 

    As a millennial woman I am ecstatic that so many women are bossing up and running businesses while raising children. I couldn’t be more stoked to witness this evolution. However, at the end of the day every Superwoman needs a Superman. So what’s the problem? The consensus among singles tends to bear similar reasons. Mostly that there aren’t any “good” women and men left out here. That thought process in itself is an insult to all of the great women and men with amazing qualities that go overlooked. 

     First and foremost you have to meet the requirements of your requirement. We all want to be loved and cared for, sometimes forgetting that we first must be love. Ladies, we can’t run around talking about we are looking for our Boaz with the mindset of Jezebel. I hear so many different reasons why women feel that they are single in speaking with various ladies. And the same holds true with the men.

     Each time I jump on my soap box on a particular topic, It’s not before I have sat back and observed. I am always quite intrigued by my findings. Point is, I’m not just here to blow hot air. There’s truth in what I put out into the atmosphere. In hopes that it helps someone. Fellas, you all aren’t off the hook, but right now I need to speak to the ladies. But stay locked in gents, you just may learn you something!

     I read a post on social media that resonated with me, and put so many points into perspective. It states: 

Men aren’t trash.

Women aren’t crazy.

Everyone is damaged.

Most are distracted.

Everyone needs healing. Not everyone is aware of what/how to heal. Not everyone has all the answers.

Be patient.

Be transparent.

Be compassionate.

Be open to love.

Be the light.  

        Have you ever heard the age old saying, “Don’t block your blessings?” Don’t allow a slick caption or a catchy song lyric to become the blueprint in which you live your life. The “I’m so independent, I can talk to a man crazy because I don’t need him” mindset is not the move sis. Let’s be mindful that even the most famous of “Hotgirls” that motivate your antics aren’t single and are building families. I’m all for having a good time, just don’t give in to the hype of the media and pop culture and block your own blessings.

       We manifest our thoughts. So why not think positive ones? Speak love into your life, not doubt. Instead of feeling defeated because dating has not been successful, think of what methods you could change or implement. Remember to get something you never had, you sometimes have to do something you’ve never done. And by all means, stop looking to outsiders for approval. Building healthy relationships is what’s cool, not living in a state of depression due to self sabotage. 

       There are still men out here that chivalry has not missed. Allow a man to be a man and court you. Not everyone isn’t looking to run game on you. Chances are, he’s just as tired of getting it wrong as you are. It is absolutely imperative to know what it is that you deserve, however the person that you choose to allow in your space deserves that same level of love and respect. Love is in no way self serving. However, I promise you will eventually receive what you openly give. 

     After a certain age, everything you do should be done with purpose. Ladies, we aren’t pointless dating, because we’re bored or could use a nice meal. We’re independent remember? That means you should be able to date yourself when that mood strikes or even have a nice girls night out. Time is the most precious currency, but we can never get a moment back once it has passed. Fill your moments with meaningful things. 

      As we draw close to the end of summer. Let’s be more intentional. Or it may possibly be a cold, cold winter. Ladies, I say this often, but remember it’s alright to initiate a date. If you are interested, let him know. You never know what you may ignite in him by making the first move. It is perfectly ok to call or text him first. Treat him to lunch or dinner. We are not playing hard to get. This is no longer grade school. If any of this confuses you, let’s simplify it. Whatever it is that you would like done to/for you. Just do that. And on the flip side, if something wouldn’t sit well with you, chances are they may not like it either. 

     Remember, life is what we make it. Keep the love languages in mind with your interactions.  It is important to start paying attention to those in the dating phase. No one said it would be easy, but in the end it’s all worth it. It’s time to go hard for what you want. We are finishing out 2019 strong and happy. Get out of your own way and work toward living your best life across the board. It’s nothing like that glow that you emit from the inside out when you’re truly walking in light and love. 


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2 comments

  • A word. Thank you for sharing sis.

    • Chontarria Wilson
  • As long as you are genuinely being yourself the right person will come along. Too many people try and fit into this box of what they should think and do based on social media or TV. It’s ok to just do what your heart and soul desire!!

    • Jami_Bella