As we prepare to celebrate Valentine’s Day, I’ve been reflecting a lot on love. That day being known to be a celebration of love and affection in the commercial world, tends to also serve as a reminder to couples of what each day should be like. A celebration of love and affection on repeat. There’s nothing like finding the person who you never want to stop making memories with. However, we all know that love can sometimes feel like you’re on a battlefield.
In an absolute perfect world yes, every day would seem like Valentine’s Day. Newsflash, nothing or no one in this world in which we live is perfect. When I consider what a perfect relationship would look like, I always envision two people who never give up on each other despite any hurt and pain they’ve dealt with in their past. I touched briefly last week on how being scarred can deter a person from wanting to put themselves out there. This can cause defeat to start setting in, and the gloves immediately go on. I mean, you’re afraid it’s not going to work out. So why not just throw in the towel before being hurt again right?
Quitting on something or someone who you can’t go a day without thinking about is like quitting on your own happiness. We as people are so concerned with being looked at as being caught up that the easy route of walking away seems like the high road. Love and pride cannot co exist. Everyone wants someone who is willing to fight for them and not care how that looks to anyone else. I’m not suggesting that becoming a slave to loyalty is the solution, but knowing when to quit vs. keep fighting is something you should be able to discern.
Now listen, this chat comes with a brief disclaimer. Let’s say that your significant other has been caught on numerous occasions stepping outside of your relationship, disrespects you, or places hands on you in any way...this topic is NOT for you. Your gloves should have been off and towel thrown in the ring. That absolutely does not fall under the category of “If you love them set them free, beloved.” If you’re courageous enough to dodge that bullet, hopefully they never return.
All of us come with some type of baggage. Having a person in your life who is willing to peel back the layers and help you to unpack is a commodity not to be taken for granted. A person who understands that they too are an imperfect being but would rather try to break down those walls together is a person worth having around. What a beautiful feeling to have that grow together kind of love.
Ultimately what everyone wants in their person is someone who’s...
-Happy to be with them
-Scared of losing them
-Proud to show them off
-Loves them with all their heart
-Excited to share the rest of their life with them
The very thought that this is a possibility is also sometimes the most frightening thing for a person. We know how the saying goes that the same thing that makes you laugh could also be the thing to make you cry. Does that mean you’d rather never laugh another day in your life because that means you run the risk of shedding a tear? That’s a risk I’d be willing to take. Perspective.
Don’t allow a generation who’s motto is on to the next to give you the slightest inclination that it is healthy behavior to bounce from person to person in search of perfection. Unfortunately life is not like Build-a-bear. It would be ideal to be able to take out and put in the parts of a person that you like and dislike until they’re perfect for you. But what happens when they realize that you too have some imperfections? You stay in the ring and fight through those fears. Together. If this is where you belong. Who you are truly meant to be with. If it’s kismet, it won’t break you, but make your bond that much stronger. Yes, love can indeed be a battlefield, however when faced with two individuals with their gloves laced tightly, it’s destined to be a Love TKO. On Valentine’s and every day, remember we’re living our best and happiest lives. Until next time.