Do we really believe that men are from Mars and women are from Venus? Well, in speaking with various singles and couples alike, I find that many people have problems bridging the gap that makes it hard to relate to the opposite sex in a relationship. I was very shocked to learn that love language, as essential as it is, is foreign to many. Which ends up taking a toll on the intimacy in relationships or even situationships.
The most important means of communication is learning how your partner needs to be loved. The way in which you give and receive affection is not always going to work for another person. Which may lead to you feeling that your attempts at connecting are being missed on them.
Identifying the five love languages is a great start. Words of affirmation, physical touch, receiving gifts, quality time, and acts of service. Now don’t think too deeply into these and go into overkill trying to deliver in each area. Instead think of your interactions with your mate, and which seems to get the most response from them. And remember THIS is not just about you, but your partner. As it is up to them to do the same in catering to your love language.
Words of affirmation are meant to encourage, affirm, and show appreciation verbally. Something as simple as sending an unexpected card, text, or handwritten note could make your partners day. Keep it fun and flirty always. Be careful not to recognize or appreciate their efforts when doing the same.
Physical touch is non verbal use of body language and physical touch to show love. Sex does not always have to be involved. Hugging, touching, or merely cuddling will suffice. I am a very touchy feely person. If he doesn’t get this from me, chances are it’s not gonna work out. Also, physical neglect or abuse are no-no’s for this person.
Receiving gifts is pretty simple. It’s just as it sounds, showing thoughtfulness and that your partner is a priority. It doesn’t always need to be a major purchase. Thoughtful gifts, trinkets or gestures is all it takes. And show gratitude when on the receiving end. Avoid seeming unenthusiastic when receiving a token of love. And definitely DO NOT forget special occasions.
Quality time is uninterrupted and focused conversations or one on one time. This can seem quite difficult when both partners have a demanding schedule to adhere to. Which is what makes quality time that much more special. It says that I made it a point to set aside time for you in my hectic schedule. And show that it’s enjoyable to you also. Again, it doesn’t entail anything major to create a special moment, go for a walk, or do other small things together. Avoid going long periods of time without one on one interaction and be sure that there are no distractions while giving them your undivided attention.
Acts of service show that you would like to help lessen your partner’s load in any way that you can. Make sure they know that you are willing to help out with business or personal matters. Making breakfast or dinner for your partner and allowing them to relax, or taking on chores that they’d normally do are small acts of service that could also have a large impact. Just don’t lack follow through on small or large tasks, and seem insincere.
Which of these make you think of your partner immediately? Once you’ve identified their love language, you may find that communication gets easier and your interactions become lighter and more loving. The ultimate objective is to enjoy each other’s company and to be each other’s safe haven regardless of what is going on in the outside world. Work on bridging that gap between planets Mars and Venus and watch how even your sex lives improve. Besides, isn’t that’s what it’s all about? Living our best lives from the boardroom to the bedroom. So let’s learn those love languages and help them to help you. ~D.W.