I know you’ve missed me. But y’all knew I would not let you down when I caught wind of the Derrick Jackson scandal. It took me a minute to weigh in on it for several reasons. One being, this is someone’s personal business. Then on the flip side, this personal business was made public, and relationships are what I do. So here we are. There are so many little tidbits that I have to delve into before giving you all my personal take on it. But if you’ve been around for a while, you know how this game is played. So be patient.
In the event you have no idea as to what it is that I am speaking on, a Relationship Guru was caught cheating by his wife on last year. Not with one, but several different women in several different ways. And this past week it was made public knowledge. What does that have to do with us you ask? Well, this gentleman sells books and gives relationship advice across several different platforms while advocating being a good man to your woman and vice versa. So there lies the problem. It’s sorta like me telling you how bad cigarette smoke is and that it causes cancer before smoking a pack of Newports a week. That makes me a fraud right?
We’re going to come back to that, but for now I’d like to skip to his wife Da’Naia for a moment. As a woman, my heart immediately went out to her. I mean what woman has not been on the receiving end of being cheated on? The idea of your person doing the things that they do with you, touching another woman how they touch you, saying the things that he says to you to someone else...those thoughts alone can be enough to break you. Then to witness it on video and have to hear it or be bashed for his indiscretions over social media is a different low to have to go through. So yeah, I sympathize with her.
On last year when Mrs. Jackson became aware of these illicit affairs, she chose to leave the marriage. Physically and mentally. Now just to be clear as to what exactly constitutes cheating, let me elaborate. Since we live in a digital era, I’m gonna make this relatable. Sliding in another woman’s dm to ask how she’s doing...Cheating! She’s none of your business. Developing a text pattern with another that may even lead to sexting...Cheating! Going out to eat for drinks or any other festivities in secret...Cheating! Any type of intent...you guessed it. Cheating! Bottom line is, you just as well have crossed that sexual line because it all comes down to the same thing. Inappropriate. Or for the people who didn’t hear me in the back...CHEATING!
Those things and more were on the menu for Mr. Jackson and the several women who he admittedly had affairs with. These are also the things which has his supporters baffled and disappointed. How could he mislead us in this manner? How could he get on his soap box every day preaching the gospel about how a man shouldn’t cheat on his wife and be doing that very thing. How could he write all of these books which serve as a blueprint for how so many go about their relationships and not abide by his own teachings. How could he Hoodwink us like this.
The how is simple. This man is human. He is made of flesh. An imperfect being. Hell, he may even really want to be all of the things in which he speaks about, but his own demons were stronger and won the battle. You see, I wouldn’t go as far as to discredit the things that he has said. As a matter of fact, I will take it a step further and say that he indeed drops some very good jewels. It is just unfortunate that his personal character flaws which scream narcissistic outweighed the right that he speaks on. Hence making him a hypocrite.
So many people have cast judgement on the situation as they hem and haw about the man who writes the relationship books being full of shit. My question is, how many of these same men who have found such humor in this situation cheated on their wife or woman at some point? How many women who chuckled at how the wife has been depicted have been on the receiving end of that cheat? AND STAYED?
It is very easy to sit high and look low. Only thing is, that’s a job for God alone. Now, just so we’re clear, I absolutely found humor in some parts of the situation. More so the video of the couple where she looked like she was an extra on the movie Get Out. Nothing has ever looked more forced to me than that interview. However, that ain’t my business. I am actually concerned about the young woman seeking the counseling that she needs. Because she most definitely needs deep therapy. But her decision to stay with that man has not one thing to do with any of us. Remember earlier on when I said we’ve all been there? Be it knowingly or not. What we can’t do is act like our shit doesn’t stink. Now what we CAN do is take the lesson in this situation.
For starters, we can all be grateful that our personal affairs (hopefully) were not on display such as this situation. Next, it should be a lesson to practice what you preach and more importantly to treat your partner how you want to be treated. There’s nothing nice about being betrayed by the person who you have entrusted your heart to. Lastly, never put anyone on a pedestal. We are all human. And that is a sure way to set yourself up for disappointment. Even the good relationship guru himself. Everyone viewed him as goals and wished they had a man such as him. What about now? Still? Be careful what you wish for and be grateful for what you have.
The advice or counsel in which you receive from any expert, Coach, therapist or any of the like is to be taken as just that. Advice. What you do with the information is up to you. But don’t think for one minute that the person giving the information has never had any missteps in life. It’s easy to say what you would do and what she should do. But are you sure about that? If I have to answer how I feel about it, I absolutely feel like she seemed easy prey to manipulate. And he knew that. But guess what, some of the strongest women have fallen victim to the same manipulation. He has to answer to a higher power for tearing that woman who did nothing but care for him down. So maybe, just maybe, especially seeing as how she seems to be a God fearing woman, that’s how she sleeps at night. Knowing that his day is coming. Oh, because it will!
May the rest of us sleep tonight and every night by minding our business and making sure we’re using our discernment so that it doesn’t end up being one of us sitting on the sofa in a bonnet looking dazed and confused. Because. Chile. Anyway...
As always, let’s continue to work on living our best lives and by all means wash your hands and duck covid at all cost. Xoxo