Happiness is an inside job

      Happiness, or the state of being happy is life’s most cherished goal. That sounds pretty cut and dry but looks like something different to most people. Accomplishments or collecting things like trophies equate to that feeling of bliss for some people. Having a family and a loving partner is the goal for others. Then there are those who just are. Which ultimately should be synonymous for us all. 

    When choosing a mate, we sometimes say that we are looking for someone to make us happy. Why would that be? When we should be happy within ourselves first. And when we speak on loving another person, our love for or toward them should not be contingent upon what they do for us but what we want to do for them. I love you is supposed to come with a feeling of I will do anything to put a smile on this persons face. 

       Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 

     The definition of love according to scripture in 1st Corinthians 13 has all of these components. This love should add to your happiness as opposed to being the reason for it. Life itself, even on what we may perceive as our worst days gives us many reasons to be happy. Such as waking up in the morning. Having someone you love and a loving family to wake up to is simply the icing on your blessed cake. 

     I know you are wondering where I’m going with this. And as always there is a method to my madness. In my daily conversations and interactions with people, there’s usually something that I may advise on that I think more of you need to hear. So here is today’s tidbit. Happiness is an inside job! It is not a responsibility that any other person should bear. 

     It is easy to get caught up into trying to woo the new boo and show them how happy you can make them.  However you don’t want to get caught up in thinking that is your job. Let things form naturally and be yourself. We have all endured disappointments in relationships at one time or another. However that doesn’t mean that’s end game for you. That just was not your blessing, but a lesson. You see, if you’ve never endured the bad, how can you appreciate that organic feeling when it comes along? 

     In the pursuit of happiness, the last thing you want to do is allow pessimism to block what is for you. Especially based on what may have transpired in the past. Have an open mind and an open heart and allow yourself a moment of vulnerability. None of us want to experience the pain associated with a failed relationship, however you need to be open for the one which is for you. 

    Keep a few things in mind when entering into any new situation. Show up as your true self. Do not allow your representative to over compensate and create a rhythm that you can’t keep up with. Also, remember that you are enough as is. Meet each other in the middle and bring the same happiness to one another's lives.  Organic situations that blossom over time will trump any forced situation. When you know, you just know. Be open and honest, but never forget your happiness also matters.    Let’s keep living our best happy lives! 

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