The fairytales of Cinderella, Beauty and the beast, and even Rapunzel all have one thing in common. A handsome Prince. Most little girls grow up with the dream of one day finding and subsequently marrying a Prince Charming of their own. The perfect ring. The most stunning dress with an eight foot train. Elegant flowers adorning every table. A deliciously crafted six tiered cake. A day to be the envy of any fairytale Princess. Yet this is something that has become so romanticized until the wedding has been more the focus than a happy marriage.
Marriage is defined as the legally or formally recognized union of two people as partners in a personal relationship. This sounds so technical that it’s not surprising that so many people view marriage as “just a piece of paper.” However not everyone looks at it as just an agreement for lack of better words. A belief in the sanctity of one's marriage might be directly associated with marital quality. It has been proposed that individuals who believe their marriage to be sacred are prone to hold attitudes or act in ways to protect their marriage.
One would think that it’s a no-brainer that Love should be the reason that two people make those vows. However, so many people marry for reasons beyond that. Reasons in which I’d label as the wrong reasons. Everyday someone “settles” for a relationship of convenience, and wonders why this union isn’t a blessed one. Or why they are anything but happy. It has become so common place that I’m not sure that certain individuals even realize that they have entered into a forever situation with someone that they can’t see past tomorrow with.
A woman who cares more about the size of the ring than they do for the man proposing to them would be an example of that. Let’s be honest, who doesn’t love a beautifully crafted solitaire? Especially when it’s gifted to you by the person you want to do life with. However, that is not the end all and be all. The ring should be symbolic of your vows, love and commitment to one another. It is no coincidence as to the shape. A circle has no beginning or end and is therefore a symbol of infinity. It is endless, eternal, just the way love should be. A ring also indicates to others that you are off the market. It should ALWAYS be worn in respect of your union.
You see, the wedding, as stressful as the planning process can be for some, is actually slight work. There’s a reason that some Pastors may tell you that this is the first day of the rest of your lives. The hard part starts the day that you say “I do.” Remembering to do the same things that you did before you got him or her and never slacking. Remembering to keep communication as key and God as the center of your relationship. Remembering to date each other just like in the beginning. Never forget to always flirt with one another as if they’re a new crush. Keep an exciting sex life. Simply being mindful to pour into one another daily.
The point in all of this is, while we’re so eager to send up the same prayer that Ciara prayed, be sure that you yourself are a God-send. No person is perfect, but a trying man or woman is everything. If you find that someone that you love, hang on to them. I’m not talking about figuring out if this is someone who you can live with. When you know that you simply can’t live without them, they’re probably “the one.”
Marriage and relationships can be a beautiful thing. Don’t let anyone tell you anything different. And don’t allow your past disappointments to rob you of the love that awaits you. It’s ok to be happy with being alone until you find that person who compliments, not completes you. You must be complete on your own. You also can’t focus on being someone else’s peace. Just don’t disturb theirs. Just as a man knows when he has found his rib, a woman too shall know when her King shows up. Not by what he has to offer materialistically, but by how he makes your soul feel. Remember it’s all about living our best lives and working daily on being our best selves. Take your time, your happily ever after is out there. And just like Cinderella’s glass slipper, the fit will be undeniable.