Cuffing Season

   Fall is upon us. It’s the time of year that tends to put singles in a frenzy. The quest to find a warm body to fill the cold, empty space in their bed begins. Spring season has several women proclaiming their independence all while preparing for a “hot girl summer.” While plenty of men were scouting out a different flavor of the week to take on Baecations. Being anything but attached to one person was the the goal for this type of “single.” Make no mistake about it, there were still some singles who ended up labeled as that status by happenstance more than choice. At any rate, whatever the reason and at any age, single is single. 

Single: an unmarried person and especially one young and socially active.

        When the leaves begin to change colors and fall from the trees and the temperature begins to drop, forcing people to spend more time indoors, someone to share space with becomes more appealing than spending this time alone. Hence “Cuffing season.” 

Cuffing season is so called because it describes the desire to be “tied down” (or “cuffed”) that often arises in the colder months. 

    Now let’s get this straight. In the warm months it’s single and ready to mingle, then at the first hint of a brisk wind, it’s time to settle down? Oh ok. So when exactly are we putting in the work that goes into a healthy situation between two people? You see, we have become so consumed with smoke and mirrors until it becomes confusing to a person that is not firm in their convictions as to what it is that they truly want. You know, especially since society and social media paints a picture as to how it looks to live a glamorous life.

      Let’s not forget ladies, the same duo encouraging you to “Act up” are in relationships and having babies. Don’t let the fog fool you into thinking that “Real ass bitch, give a fuck 'bout a nigga” is life. Let’s be honest. It’s nothing like coming home from a long day and falling into a pair of strong loving arms. But to have this in your life, it requires doing the work. If you aren’t praying to your God to mold you into the type of woman that deserves the man of your dreams, then you’re already coming up short. How can you expect to be cuffed by a man of quality in fall if you were chasing quantity all summer? We must meet the requirement of our requirements. 

     Would you rather spend your winter frazzled because who you thought you wanted to cuff for a solid three months is doing more disturbing your peace than they are adding to it? Or would you rather form an authentic connection with someone who’s path crosses yours regardless to the time of year? Allowing it to bloom into something wonderful to take you through every season. And repeat! We see pictures that we label as goals, but lack the tenacity to go through what these “role models” have endured to make it to the point that they are blissfully in love. Every day won’t be ice cream and roses in a relationship, but if it’s perfect, how do you know that it’s really worth it? Just like the fall weather, you can’t appreciate warmth if you’ve never felt cold. That holds true in all areas of life. 

     Now I know my guys already knew that you all were next. Fellas, it’s quite simple for you too. You have to give her a vibe that she can’t find anywhere else if you intend to truly “cuff her.” Do you know how many dm’s that the average female gets in the course of a day? From men probably promising her the moon and the stars. I don’t say that as a scare tactic, or even for you to feel like that’s an attractive attribute to add to a resume. However, if we’re being honest, no one wants someone that no one else wants. Read that again! With that in mind, fellas don’t just talk about it be about it. And don’t treat a woman like refuse that you can simply discard after the weather begins to break in order for you to frolic about. Love on that woman all year long. Twice during leap year. Insert wink.  


       The moral of the story here is, if you stay ready you won’t have to get ready. Meaning, you won’t have to get cuffed in winter if you’ve already put the work in to keep your person in your life year round. Focus on fun summers and cozy chill winters together. Being in a relationship shouldn’t be dreaded or viewed as the end of your fun days. With the right person, you will have more fun than you will with your friends. Travel the world, build an empire, have amazing sex. Remember that life was not meant to be lived alone. Nor was it intended for us to settle just for a season. So again, do the work all year long and you won’t have to rely on cuffing season to fill that void in your lives. You’ll be living your best one at all times. 





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    • Lakesha