It’s nothing like that feeling you get when someone new catches your attention. You know what I’m talking about. The cute random messages, compliments, or phone calls that puts a big Cheshire Cat grin on your face. Or perhaps it hasn’t even got that far. It’s simply some harmless flirting via social media that has turned into a part of your daily routine. So much so that you’re looking forward to these daily messages and the back and forth exchange. No harm, no foul, just a little something to help pass the day. The only problem is, you have a significant other at home.
The question that I raise today is, what do you consider “cheating?” What I have come to find in a survey of sorts with males is that they deem cheating to mean that sex is involved. On the contrary, yet broadly, cheating can be defined as being emotionally or sexually unfaithful to your partner who you are in a closed relationship with. Having intimate physical or emotional contact with another person is typically considered cheating. To give it to you in layman’s terms, there is a such thing as emotional infidelity.
Now, if you are confused as to whether you are involved in an emotional affair or not, let me give you a few tell-tale signs. Take for instance the opening scenario. Let’s say it has escalated to the point where you find this “other” person on your mind a lot. Or worse, have sexual fantasies of being with them. Actually scratch that, I have one that’s far worse. Mentally comparing that fantasy with your current partner so much so that you now feel as if they are lacking in some areas. All based off of a fantasy.
Have I begun to paint a clear picture for you as to how something that seems so harmless is anything but? Every decision that you make in a relationship doesn’t only have a bearing on you, but an adverse affect on your mate. Yes, your mate who absolutely did not sign up for another person auditioning for their role. People (especially women) tend to be emotional creatures. If you get the mind, everything else will follow. I had a friend to ask me, based off of a previous blog if having phone sex with another woman would be considered cheating. I first chucked at the question, simply because to me it’s a no brainer. However, everyone doesn’t view things from an angle of perspective. My question to him is would he be alright with his woman being the source of another man’s orgasm via FaceTime? PERSPECTIVE!
When you are in a fulfilling relationship, being emotionally available to another person shouldn’t be a “thing.” Operative word here being fulfilling. Which goes back to a lot of my previous blogs on love language and even long distance relationships. Always remember the little things that you did in the beginning that made your person blush. And continue to do it throughout your union. Just more. Never lose sight that everyone craves attention from their love interest. And sadly, the lack of can lead to them being easy prey for that guy or gal who is sliding in their dm. Let’s be honest, temptation is a bitch. Remember that’s what made Eve bite the forbidden fruit.
When in doubt, if you have to question whether or not it’s right or wrong...it probably is. Also to help you out, just ask yourself if what you are doing would be acceptable for your mate to be doing with someone else. In the meantime, remember your reasons why. Why you chose your person and what made you fall for them in the beginning. Don’t get comfortable and take that for granted. And if there is a void, communication is key. Get back on track as opposed to seeking attention outside of your home. You will regret it later. It’s absolutely a slippery slope. But it’s also a cold winter. Don’t find yourself by yourself for what you deemed to be some meaningless flirting. Let’s keep living our best lives and keep our relationships thriving.